Friday, September 01, 2006

The Solution To World Peace

Islamic extremists are attempting to hold the world hostage. Fox News reporter Steve Centanni was forced at gunpoint to convert to Islam, then released. With his head still on. Maybe we are going about this whole war of religions the wrong way...

What if the world converted? What if everyone stood up and made the three pledges of belief to Allah, chose a new name, and took a shower to finalize the whole thing? If those kidnappers of Centanni were convinced that forcing him to convert made him a brother in faith, why don't we all just take the plunge ourselves? Centanni says he didn't know if he was officially a Muslim—"I don't know enough about Islam to know if it was official, or recognized." (Thank God, he's got a head to scratch while he ponders that). Yet, if it is good enough for those holding guns to THINK Centanni is a believer, why not have the world try it and see if the rest of those holding guns will put them down?

We've got to find the right person to stage this event. (Not that we would believe them, just as long as the idiots holding guns and wishing for virgins do). Madonna is leading her followers to believe that religion is in. Maybe she could put on a burka and change faith on stage? (It's not like her efforts to enlighten us in faith are that believable).

Or even better, President Bush (another world rocker whose efforts are questioned by everyone) could lead the nation in a moment of solidarity to show our sincere desire to stop the war of religion. We could all stand up solemnly with one hand in the air, make the pledge and cross a couple of fingers on the hand behind our back for good luck while we did it. (It's not like there is officially any words like "no take backs" in the conversion process). To make it official we can issue the paperwork that look like marriage licenses the Islams give out after conversion that will bear our new names on it. (Everyone knows marriage licenses are only pieces of paper and not to be taken seriously anyways). If these guys are crazy enough to blow themselves up for virgins and even crazier to believe that holding a gun to someones head and forcing them to repeat the words makes them a brother, then we should be able to pull this off.

Finally, a solution to world peace.

(But hey, this is our little secret. Don't tell the you-know-who's, holding the you-know-what's, cause we want it to be believable to them).

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posted by Is It Just Me? at 6:42 AM